2012 here we come... OR a knitting update

How's the new year treating you all?

I read somewhere that the second Monday of January is called BLUE Monday, anyone else have a day of the 'blues'?

I've been recovering from surgery and am now at that point where I 'want' to be doing stuff but still can't be doing what I want to do.

This energy bubbling has morphed into a pretty bad case of startitis. Over the past weekend I've cast on for 3 scarves, knitted the ribbing for a 2nd sock, and added 2" inches to the 2nd of a pair of wristwarmers. I've also finished two WIP (yay me!) and planned a number of Christmas gifts for next Christmas. I need to get one of those counter widgets and keep track of what I do get knit :)

About those wristwarmers... I'm working the Nereid Gloves from Sutherland Studios. A nice textured, ribby wave pattern that is working up right nice in Chroma Fingering in the Regency colorway. The subtle greys are nice and long and the purples are just enough color accent at the base of my hand and thumb with just at dusting of it creeping in on the fingers edge. I usually don't bother with finding the repeats when working with variegates but this time I did although not perfectly accurately.

I'll post a picture as soon as I get one uploaded to Ravelry.

I'm having a little bit of trouble with the yo holes being loose, due in part I believe to using two circs. I really need to get stocked up on dpns. I 'like' the idea of 2 circs, but somehow my tension and gauge goes on holiday when I use them with any sort of patterning beyond simple ribbing.

Another thing I've noticed, is that I don't seem to be following the graph and yet, the pattern is turning out correctly. I can't see that the change I'm making is a correction on the graph and pattern, since it's a really big obvious switch of the ribbing in the middle section.

Anyone else do this sort of thing? Just decide that the pattern should be another way and knit blissfully on til you need to check for a measurement or increase or decrease number and find yourself in a WTH moment? I can't really be alone in that can I?

I hope to be back on track with the posting this year. Not exactly a resolution (more a kick myself in the pants moment) but I guess like with every good intention, we will see.

Happy New Year.

I need this on a loop...

Obviously I've felt this way before, as seen here: http://reasonablefemale.blogspot.com/2006/08/turning-other-cheek.html

Obviously I've gotten that stunning slap in the face from someone I truly trusted and liked.

obviously I haven't been listening to myself...

equally obviously... I will probably need to repost this again at some point...

because I just... do not want to be the person I describe in the last paragraph. That would take far too much energy and anger and I'm far too lazy for that.

But, maybe, just maybe this time? I can make it partway there and get past the cheap and easy respect, so easy you don't need to bother and find my way to 'someone worth the effort'.

I guess we'll see.

11.5 hour wedding shawl

Some years ago I posted this to the KNITTALK list and thought to retell the story here.

circa 2002

K. my eldest daugther (bless her picky heart :) ) decided on a May wedding, with very short notice and a small ceremony with just family in attendance and a come and go reception at their home.

She was very practical (and frugal ... bless her cheap heart :P) in her planning and since our weather (looking outside today and seeing snow you'll understand what I mean) has been known to be very unpredictable she made alternative plans for the ceremony; because as badly as she wanted an outside ceremony she was pretty sure it'd snow or rain or something.

Sure enough, night before the wedding, we're all crammed in her tiny little galley style kitchen, me and her sis-in-law to be bumping rear ends as we worked on our family *specialties* and K and her younger sis A (my kindred soulchild who also inherited my sense of sarcasm and wit) bustled about, K wringing her hands at the details and A quietly fixing what needed fixing and sending me telling glances that had us having to look away lest we break out in the giggles.

Now don't get me wrong, we love K but she's a pain at times and details are her forte. A and I tend to go with the flow while K is determined that things WILL be a certain way. Even K however, has yet to figure out a way to convince the weather to do her bidding. (with her sense of accomplishment and determination I'm betting on K)

So, at 9 pm she looks out the window at the gathering greyness hovering over the city and says resignedly, "guess it's an indoor ceremony." Commiserating with her disappointment we all agreed.

"Mom..." she gasped at me, "what will I wear from the car to the house?" She had chosen an off the shoulder dress, lovely in a silvery white but yes, her shoulders would decidedly be exposed to the forces of nature.

Backtracking a moment, I'd asked this kid repeatedly, "do you want a wedding shawl? I'll make one however you want it." over the past 5 or 6 years previous. The reply was always no thanks mom. (which read, knitted shawls are for old ladies and while I'll oo and aw over your socks and shawls for you I wouldn't be caught dead wearing one).

"I need a shawl." She proclaimed and I glanced at the clock. 9 pm. Wedding is at 12:30 pm the next day. 15.5 hours... oy...

We left for home (an hour's drive) at 10 pm. Arriving home at 11 pm, bundling everyone off to bed I'd been mentally assessing stash rejecting cotton immediately as I knew I wanted something lofty and halo'd but having little in my stash of the right weight or colour to match the silvery white of her dress.

As we drove into our yard it hit me. The colour wasn't totally right but if I did it very airy it wouldn't matter TOO much. Right? Right. I had some baby alpaca in raw white. Doubled up on 10 mm needles it might just do it.

By 11:15 PM everyone was in bed and I had 3 movies programmed on the satellite. Casting on I started a basic dishcloth pattern in garter, hoping that the large needles and halo would compensate for the simplicity of the design.

(for those who need to know: Cast on 4, knit 1 row, *k2 yo, knit to end of row)

The fabric looked fine and was growing quickly enough so I kept knitting. But as anyone who's used this pattern knows, it's designed to produce a square or a rather deep triangle if you don't use the decrease half. I wanted it wider quicker so I started increasing on both ends of each row. ACK, now it's widening too quickly, back to the one increase per. Better ... and so it went for 2 or 3 hours. Switching back and forth (and sorry to say randomly when it just looked right) was giving me a somewhat scalloped edge... hey it's a design feature right? Right.

Along about 4 or 5 am I woke with the blunt end of a needle pressing into the crook of my elbow but a darned good start on a shawl. I appear to have knitted in my sleep. I can't swear to it and no one was awake to see me do it, but that shawl had grown.

After a shower, and shove out the door to the rest of the family (knitting all the while during breakfast, arguing with children about what they COULD NOT wear to a wedding and hubby's doubting thomas questions we set out to drive the hour's trip.

I'd count furiously then decide it wasn't wide enough so I'd knit knit knit. Hubby asked if I was having any mother of the bride nervousness, "shssshh," I snapped, "I'm counting." Being the quietly sarcastic sort he tossed back, "obviously..." "No time to be nervous." I answered after yet another stitch count.

Now I was close enough to start obsessing about the cast off. Gotta be seriously stretchy for this to work as the shorty triangle stole I was seeing on the needles. My hands were aching, wrists swollen. Finally the brain kicked in and I went for a sl k1, psso *YO, k1, pass previous stitch over both the YO and second stitch, leaving YO on the needle ) Yep, stretchy.

A came out to the van to see how I was doing and her reaction startled me "Holy batcrap mom...When did you start this?" I told her and she started to do the math as I finished the last of the cast off and suprisingly the last of the yarn. Two balls, ending evenly with only a 2 in tail ? ... can we say Meant To Be? Approximately 11.5 hours from cast on to shoulders.

K was upstairs so I quickly stretched this out on her couch, spritzed it lightly and tugged it into a semiblocked state. She came down and again with the gasp.

I stood there, rubbing my hands trying to get the ache to quiet as she gazed at it. "Oh mom...." she looked at me, tears welling in those about to be a bride's eyes and my aches went away.

She wore the shawl all through the day, even after she changed out of her wedding dress. Sometimes she wore it upside down, the ends spiraling (I can only guess from the scalloping of the shaping and the extra stretchy cast off) off her arms, the tip of the triangle folded down at the nape of her neck like a little collar.

A doesn't want a wedding shawl either. I have the Forest Path entrelac lace phenomenon 1/3 done... SHHHHH, don't tell her.

(sadly, that Forest Path went in the fire we had. However, I'm seeking the pattern and a similar yarn to start it again)

When? Why?

I believe in vaccinating my children. To keep them safe and because there hasn't been a reported case of said disease in X years is not a valid reason not to vaccinate. If anything It's even more of a reason because as we have less and less exposure to these germs our ability to fend them off when confronted with them is limited.

If we are going to make something mandatory but then say Oh but you can choose not to, why bother?

If the lady down the street doesn't vaccinate her children and they become ill, they potentially endanger my children; even though my children have been vaccinated. Even though I've taken every reasonable, educated precaution I'm comfortable with doing, my children are still at risk because of someone else's decision. Note: Where I live that is how it is, it's suggested but it's not 100% mandatory.

IF you, I and everyone else who seems to be thinking along the right minded way of thinking I'm reading about teach our children about their bodies and masturbation and they understand about private and public touch and 'strangers' and the like but 'Mz I dun wanna be talking to my babies about sex and nobody else should be either' over across the way doesn't... and her little Johnny or Jenny comes along and starts touching my kids or yours ... all she has to do is say at the moment "I didn't believe in teaching a young child about sex." and she's off the hook. Unless it's a rather major event where the police are immediately called; or you, I or another parent wants to make a big deal of it and potentially undo the right-minded thinking we've started to instill in our children then whoever little J / J touched inappropriately is left without a solution. Afterall, they have still been touched.

There are other situations and laws out there where this somewhat skewed logic applies. Just because 3 out of 10 people I know, can drive at 140 mph and do so in a safe and courteous manner (and yes, there are people who can and do so on a regular basis) doesn't mean that I am going to be out there lobbying that the speed limit should be upped to 140. Speeding limits are set up to enable the most amount of people to drive the most amount of miles in the safest possible way. Sometimes there are just plain stupid zones though, just saying...

When your child reaches a certain age, either the one determined by the law of your land or if you're like most people I know, in a field long before they would be allowed on the road because you know yourself that exposure to something in a controlled and supervised manner is a good way to learn; you teach your children to drive safely. At a younger age (hopefully though given some of the pedestrians I've encountered maybe not so much) you also teach them how to cross the street safely. You teach them how to work the stove, use a knife, light a fire, you know, how to do any number of mundane tasks. You do this because at some point in their lives they are going to cross a road without you there to tell them how, turn on a stove or even drive to work complaining about pedestrians who don't know how to cross a road safely. Ahem.

If your child takes up sports, you're going to buy them the right equipment for it aren't you? To protect them from bumps, bruises, perhaps even serious or life threatening injuries considered connected to that particular sport. Before strenuous physical activity you're going to either teach them how to prepare their bodies and minds, or get right upset with a coach who doesn't promote preparation when your little darling pulls a muscle because they went into the game cold.

You're going to do this and other preparatory things because you want to protect your children, being a right-minded parent. As a result, most of the kids participating in said activity are going to do so in safe manner, with everyone enjoying themselves. They'll even learn to relax (because they are protected, knowing that a particular piece of safety equipment will do its job when needed) and by doing so will probably enjoy the activity even more.

Sex has never been nor never will be 'safe' to some, because there have always been inherent risks to either the self esteem or psyche by indulging or denying without even getting into the STD's, moral and/or legal issues of then and now. And yes, I'm glossing over these but not because I believe they are not crucial, but because most of them are based on beliefs, traditions and moral views that I may or may not adhere to, or hold personally.

But let's face it, people, at some point in their lives, your child is going to indulge, partake, or even *gasp* enjoy sex.

Why would you not want to prepare them? Why wouldn't you want them to be aware of and even feel comfortable using safety equipment (hint: condoms do more than just provide a barrier to conception).

I just can't ignore the age-old question... do you really want your child out there getting an inpromptu and probably very confused and inaccurate information session on sex from their friends?

I just don't get why we have to turn into blithering idiots instead of right-minded parents who work hard to protect and nurture their children the very second SEX is mentioned.

Merry Christmas, despite being a little late...

So this past year hasn’t been one of my favourites. To hit the high(?) lights, we’ve had a house fire that destroyed our house, two deaths in the family, money issues (who hasn’t) and I’ve finally quit a job that was sucking out my very soul.
There’ve been some up moments, (see the part about quitting that job?) and all the helpful, compassionate people who came to our assistance after the fire. People coming out of nowhere and being kind to us. Balanced as always by the (so - called) neighbour who informed me in front of the still smoking ashes of our home, that if we lived in an old house like that, what could we expect? I’ve always said it takes all kinds, so nice to be proven right O.o

Anyhoo, given all these rollercoaster moments I’ve been looking forward to December 31st with more anticipation than usual. Today is December 24th and I had planned all along to go shopping at Costco for the last minute gifts. I’d gotten into this habit a few years ago when certain children had reached the age of snooping and paying off the younger ones to do it for them.

Over the past few years I’ve become more than a little bit jaded with Christmas and the holidays in general. It’s been harder and harder to get excited about it and hold onto that wonderment. I suppose that’s a symptom of growing older but I was letting things slide for the kids, and that has been bothering me. Sure, they had presents and a nice turkey spread. We put up lights and went to the town hall for the school concert. We even do the family game night Christmas eve, unplugged if you will, a marathon evening of board games, most often Monopoly or Life and lately Scrabble and Risk have been making an appearance. Little traditions have been kept but there’s been something missing…something of the anticipation and joy of the season.

I was giving myself a talking to while driving to Costco. About how, this coming year I’d start my stocking-stuffer buying in January like I used to do, little odds and tidbits some to be wrapped some to be just discovered; and make some gifts, another habit that has gone by the wayside as the pressure of putting on Christmas became less and less interesting. I’ve long ago given up on knitted gifts for all but most Christmas mornings had someone exclaiming over something hand made by mom. An afghan, a sweater, a pair of much wanted wristees or even just a plain old scarf in just the right color had been unwrapped with anticipation on my part to see how the recipient would respond. That hasn’t happened in more than few years if I’m honest.

I spent a rather pleasant couple of hours at Costco as the crowds weren’t overly so and there were plenty of items I’d been looking forward to checking out without tipping my hand to the nosy children that usually accompanied me on shopping trips. I’d found everything I had planned on getting, a few things besides and reluctantly put back others with the hopes that on another trip with more extra available they’d still be there for purchase. DD#3’s new camera was in there, the navigational GPS thingie for hubby, more than couple blu-ray disks and books, always books for Christmas at our house as well as new pyjamas to wear Christmas Eve and most if not all of Christmas Day. Noting to myself that not all of our Christmas traditions had died I wandered to the checkout line.

I noticed a lady letting people go in front of her in line. She had one of those trolley platforms and while it was full it was mostly larger boxes. She’d waved at least two others through as I got up to her and was telling me to go on ahead too. I responded that she should go ahead as it was Christmas Eve and everyone wanted to be home. At her question about why I wasn’t in a hurry I told her that since hubby is a truck driver subject to the whim of a dispatcher and road conditions, Christmas at our house didn’t start till he got home anyway and that I had all day as he wasn’t expected till later than evening.

She smiled and got in line. As we waited our turns at the register we chatted. I often strike up conversations in line-ups and have passed an otherwise tedious time exchanging opinions on politics, current events and the weather with equal vigour. Hey, I am Canadian after all, and weather is an important topic of discussion. Especially interesting to me when I find someone who ‘remembers the big one of 19…aught something. *grin*.

During this chat we exchanged sentiments about how seeing the backside of 2010 would not be a bad thing. As I’ve mentioned we’ve had enough. She told me of a 50 year marriage ending in divorce and we both commiserated with the other that 2011 didn’t have to do much to be better. She paid for her purchases and was fiddling with her purse as the cashier started running mine through.

I turned to her and smiled, about to wish her a Merry Christmas when felt I needed to say something more. “You know, your ex probably just needed to get out of your life to make room for someone who really loves you. Or maybe you’re just one of those lucky people who loves themselves enough they don’t need that affirmation from someone.” She clasped my hand and holding it asked my name. I told her and she said, “Well my name is ******** and guess what, I’m your secret Santa and I’m going to pay for your order today.”

“You can’t,” was my immediate response, my mental tally had rang up near 750 or so and the thought of a stranger giving me nearly a thousand dollars shocked me. She was adamant and firm, telling me she’d said she was doing it and that was that. As she headed over to the ATM to get out cash the cashier remarked about how nice it was that my friend was doing that for me. When I told him and his packer person that I’d never laid eyes on this woman before in my life they both welled up with tears. I, too, was crying by now.

I did insist that we exchange information so we could talk again. Turns out she lives in a town I used to, and her dad had spent his last years in the town I now live in. When I asked her why she’d done this, she said that a little voice had told her she should when we’d been speaking in the line-up. She figured it was her Dad telling her to do a good deed.

When I got out to my vehicle I just sat there for a few minutes, somewhat overwhelmed. That’s the first time in a very long time that I’ve really felt the Christmas Spirit filling me so fully. I called my eldest daughter when I got home and told her about this. We have some ‘extra’ money coming in January with one thing or another. We’ve decided we’re going to go stake out a grocery store and have some fun. I think we’ll know the right person to pay this forward to when we see them.

P.S. I started writing this when I got home that evening, but for some reason it didn’t seem right to post it till now. I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas season and that the best of 2011 finds its way to your home.

P.P.S I’ve been behind in my blog reading and just got to the Yarn Harlot's recent entries today. I wish I’d read her post about the traditions for New Year’s Eve in time, I’d have done them all.

Why?

I see on *insert social site here* that my son's ex girlfriend/shackup/love/ whatever it was/is posted a picture of my grandson, her son. The son she and my son, her ex/shackup/love/whatever it was/is had together. The son she and my son no longer have.

I see that with that posting she's speaking of how much she misses them both. Her family, my son, my grandson, my son's son, her son and her man.

And all I can think to say to her is Why? Why then, did you not follow through with the treatment? Why did you do things that could hurt him while you were pregnant with him? Why did you when given all sorts of chances and offers of help both officially and from family and friends did you lie to us all, yourself included? Why were you both so damned smart you could put 'something' over on us. Why be such smart asses that you think you are cleverer, better, different. Why not admit you had a problem? Sure you both give it lip service. You both say all the 'right' things, but you didn't/wouldn't/couldn't do them.

I want to blame her, I want to blame my son, I want to blame them both. I want to blame me and his dad, I want to blame her mother and father, I want to blame everyone. I want to blame the system that let them lie, let them cheat on the tests and I believe set them up so that they both could do nothing at that point but fail... but really who lost in the end... that little boy.

Both of them will point fingers at me and say how horrible I am for posting this if they see it. They'll both find some horrible secret of mine to throw out there. And you know what... that little boy will still be gone. No matter how they and I toss aside the blame, how no one wants to think about it...

why why why didn't you think about it before... if you couldn't bring yourself to worry about losing him why did you have him... why damnit WHY...

Thinking about writing...

"He started for the kitchen to get a drink, and checked himself. Take a drink because you pity yourself, and then the drink pities you and has a drink, and then two good drinks get together and that calls for drinks all around." - Little Fuzzy 1962, by H. Beam Piper.

Today while wandering through blogland I was reminded of the above quote from Little Fuzzy by H. Beam Piper. When I first read this book some 25 years ago, I enjoyed the story for what it was but was also excited about the way it had come to my attention. The book store I frequented (read haunted) was run by a wonderful repository of background information and he'd suggested the story to me both for the great story as well as the background of the author. I'd recently taken an interest in some old Ace Doubles and Piper's space opera type of writing had an appeal all of its own. The author had not published the third book and the manuscript, long believed either destroyed or otherwise lost had recently been discovered in an old desk. A third book had been written by another author from Piper's notes, with the approval of his estate but here after more than one ending was Piper's.

It was an enjoyable experience, discovering his work and collecting it and now I get to do it all over again. Regardless...

That line had jumped out at me at the first reading and has been something I've thought about many times through the years, often quoting it to people during discussions of various topics.

I'd heard that Piper had not viewed himself as successful and certainly in terms of the genre there were more prolific and well-known writers; Asimov and the like. Writing isn't really about being successful. There's a lot said about the anguish of writing. Of putting that part of yourself out there laid bare for others to read that terrifies many a person into never letting their "scribbles" see the light of day.

I've likened the idea of submitting something to giving birth that once it was out of your hands it acquired a life of its own just like your children and would forever reflect back on you its success or failure.

Somehow, though, in all the talks I've had with fellow writers that doesn't stop one from needing to write. I've chucked everything, more than once sad to say, and scrambled to retrieve it once that passion of the moment had passed. I mourn the loss of ideas that I have been unable to write down because they've come to me while driving, or in those moments between awake and aware. I marvel at the idea that some books see the light of day, too but that's another post :).

But to get back to the quote...

To me, there's something so incredibly truthful and psychologically defining in it. Fanciful as it may seem I can imagine that being a nothing line that Piper wrote that he himself perhaps came back to, to reread and ponder over. I wonder if he suffered from depression, or perhaps even alcoholism when I read that and usually set down the book at that point to muse over the implications there, of how one justifies drinking, of being alone and seeking solace in a bottle, or turning to it rather than addressing the issues at hand lest they unsettle the tiny island of comfort such as it might not really be one that someone could have carved for themselves.

I think writers have to be, by nature, somewhat arrogant or at the least impressed with themselves, if only within their own minds. There are times when something one writes is so ... perfect and profound that you can get lost in it, reading it over and over. I think that the good writers get over that, or learn to cope with it, cause there's a real danger spot there. Not accepting that it could be bettered by a change of word, rewriting of a phrase and the flipside of that, where you edit till your eyes bleed and it's still not perfect... those are the barriers to writing successfully as many would define writing.

That justification of one drink needing the company of another holds true for so many things and not just terrible life destroying vices but good things as well. Joy is never so wonderful as when truly shared with another. A laugh that takes you to your knees, sets your eyes to streaming and steals your breath is only ever better by another joining in on the same level.

Sharing... that's what writing is about. Sharing your ideas, making them larger than they are by giving them to others and having them reflected back to you. People say that writing is a lonely process and good writing only comes from anguish and much gnashing of teeth. I beg to differ. I don't believe that one has to wring every word from their psyche to make it good. I believe that writing can be joyful and happy and exciting and love the idea a published author I once knew put in my head when asked for a synopsis. She'd replied "Well how the hell do I know what happens in the story? I write them to find out the ending..."

Now seeking a writing partner...any takers?

Refound

Fascinated, you bet...
Friday 10.29.04 [4:51 pm]

Well to most that know me this won't come as too much of a shock. I'm facintated by men. Now that doesn't mean that I have a Chippendale's calendar hanging in my bedroom (my crafts room actually) or that I oogle guys as they walk down the street.

It does mean that that other species that masquerades as the other half of my own fascinates me.

I offer these Rules of Manhood as an example of why...(note at a guess given the language involved these came from a British or perhaps a European site...a tip: MATE = friend I was given no reference for where this comes from, so if you know, I'd appreciate the info to give a nod to the author (not to miss mentioning copyright details as well).

(Italics mine)

Rules of Manhood

01: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. Okay, this one I'll let go... not to sure how I feel about two women sharing one either, unless they are lifelong friends or family.

02: It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:

a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master. I'd like to see someone NOT cry then. (said somewhat indignantly)

b. The moment Angelina Jolie or Halle Berry (or both) starts unbuttoning her blouse. Ahem

c. After wrecking your boss' car. Girls get to do this when they wreck anyone's car, see how fair we are?

d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game". I've never actually seen this movie, so can't comment.

e. When she is using her teeth meh, and just lets it go.

03: Any Man who brings a camera to boys night out may be legally killed and eaten by his mates.

04: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

05: If you've known another man for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her. Seems to me that defeats the purpose of having brothers with friends.

06: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a friends fridge is forbidden. Complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

07: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is strictly optional. Alright fine, but does it have to bleed over to forgetting your girl's birthday too?

08: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest. Men have also invented cars that go too damn far on one tank of gas as well...I'm sensing a conspiracy here...

09: When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend. Just... ICKS

11: It is permissible to quaff a fruity alcopop drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach...and it's delivered by a topless supermodel...and it's free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another bloke in the nuts.

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked. And yet, invite a guy to watch an all girls mud wrestling match...

14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game (can explain offside or the double switch) and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers. Yeah, like we -want- to sit in front of the tv hollering and slapping each other's asses every holiday ... There's shopping to be done, thank you very much. *SNORT* I also sounded convincing there didn't I? it was the shopping part right?

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight. You know, I can't really argue with this one, call me oldfashioned... well sort of, I guess it depends how suggestively dressed she is, and for what purpose...

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both thats just mean.

19: If you compliment a man on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer. GIGGLES

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a mate of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:

a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!

b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!

c. Another set and we can hit the showers!

22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e. both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need. *EYE ROLL* What the hell do they do if they need extra tissue?

23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary. Is that why they're so damned concerned with how long they were going for...

24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was. No comment, okay just one... PIG

25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours. EVIL EYE

26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue. Orange, snicker...

27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story. Here's a tip, boys, think diamonds and gold and ring fingers...cause that's what we bloody well mean you dorks.

28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Mens Gymnastics. Ever. Heh, well for the most part I tend to agree with that, who wants them around then anyways...

Now, first of all, why do they need a written set of rules? Don't they realize that under any given set of circumstances there are any number of responses to all of these situations? I mean really... women just make things up and given some of the creativity I've seen from a guy or two, at squirming, I'd think they'd be just as capable of just making it up as they go along.

Second, are there truly MEN police out there, checking to see if one guy talks to another in the john? Who gets -that- job? Who -wants- that job?

And that whole set of beer rules... only men would have rules about BEER.

So men will continue to fascinate me with their sport rituals and silly bathroom rules of behaviour. They also make me want to pick them apart to figure out what makes 'em tick... but then they get all broken and metrosexual when you get too deep into the whole feelings thing.

So guys, despite more than one joke about you, and your various types of behaviour... that makes me nearly pee my pants with laughter and glee; here's one gal who's pretty happy you guys are guys and she's a gal.

..and then?

Life has a way of making things...interesting.

I've been writing this post in my head for over a month now, starting it over and over, wondering just how to say it.

There really isn't much option, as no matter what, once said it's out there and that's that. Life has made a 90 degree turn on me and mine and that's all there is to it, and all this does is acknowledge it to the general public.

On April 7th, 2010 our house, with very nearly every material possession that I and my family owned, burned to the ground.

My two youngest daughters were home on spring break, I was at work and hubby was on the highway. An RCMP officer came to my work to inform me.

She started out by asking me to sit down, never a good sign. Reaching, she patted my arm and said "now everything is okay..." correcting herself to say, "well what I mean is, your daughters are okay but your house is gone, it's completely burned..."

I was pretty glad to be sitting down at that point.

I called hubby and demanded that he pull over; as he pointed out later, also never a good sign.

Old electrical wiring in a wall we discussed the Sunday before about removing in ongoing renovations of our older home were found to be the cause. Both girls were unhurt (physically) and most of our pets escaped the fire.

Our 14 yo had the presence of mind to shove her sister out the door and after a moment's pause thinking about trying to rescue her cat and kittens she followed her out the door, feeling like she abandoned a part of her family to the fire.

We lost everything. Years of photos (all dutifully backedup electronically onto cds but stored on site, and not in a fire proof safe... I wonder if anyone does think to store them offsite... probably, but I didn't...) boxes of momentos of family members past and activities and achievements, much electronic equipment, including computers, game consoles and video and sound; 30plus years of crafting stash, about 300 movies both vhs and dvd and the list goes on and on and on.

Anyone who has cleared out a house after a loved one lost knows what I'm talking about. The odd dishes from sets long broken or discarded, that holds the memories of birthday parties and smudgy little kid finger prints. All those memories that we still have but no longer have the tangible, tactile ability to access.

Oh yes, we're lucky. There is no question about that whatsoever. Lucky that over the years my own fear of fire has tormented me to drill the kids on getting out, leaving everything behind and just getting out. We're lucky they were awake and moving around as people lying down in the type of fire this was, seldom get up. The fire inspector told me that on average a fire in a home such as ours is inescapable past the 28 second mark. They moved fast, they saw and assessed and reacted positively in that time frame. HELL yes, we're lucky we were prepared.

Family, friends, neighbors, coworkers, local and national service clubs and complete strangers have been generous and kind and helpful. We're a small town community and the rallying around us was most heartening in a time where people often turn away from those in need.

Members of knitting lists I belong to have swamped me in wonderful gifts to assist me in refilling my stash. They get it that you don't have just one set of knitting needles or just one type of yarn at hand if you're the kind of knitter I am.

People have been fantastic about offering (and some have already done so) to purchase my daughters sets of the books they are mourning. Clothing has been coming by the bagful and our temporary rental house is almost completely furnished.

We are lucky.

And if everything around us has a sense of someone else's essense, well that's just the way it'll have to be for the time being. If nothing we reach for is familiar just yet and there is no comfort in the sensation of climbing between blankets that have molded to your contours for years we still have beds and bedding to sleep in.

We *are* lucky... it's hard sometimes to remember that, when we're mourning our losses.

So if I can give just one little piece of advice... if you're helping someone out after a catastrophic loss, either by fire or flood or the unexpected (or expected for that matter) loss of a loved one... please, don't tell them they are lucky... they know that... they get that... what they know and how they feel are likely really different things. So please, don't mention luck, okay?

... and even if you don't understand that a pet is an integral part of a family, don't tell someone that the loss of one isn't to be grieved as much as the loss of a human... they know that too... just try remembering that to them, family is family and feeling 'lucky' to be alive when a family member (of any sort) is not, isn't very comforting.

Next post... not so much whining, much more happiness as we move towards better days...

A Difference of Opinon

With all due respect to the designer of my current knitting project; I acknowledge her ability, her writing skills, the time and effort she put into conception, planning and presenting this pattern. Which by the way, I'm really enjoying seeing how it's coming out and all ....

But...

WHY?

Why do it ASSDFF all in pieces and fuss about sewing stuff together?

Why would you change the build concept halfway through the pattern. More to the point.

You had me knit the fronts and back all in one, with mock seams. Pretty awesome. Sleeves being separate I totally agree with as they are raglan and that's an annoying thing to try and figure out how to pick up and knit down to the wrists to be sure. For that matter I also find that the sleeves that are knitted down from the shoulder tend to stretch on me... so like I said, all for those separate sleeves.

I won't quibble with you over the hems and how you chose to present them. We did agree on the provisional cast on though I personally find it easier to reverse stockinette on smaller needles, one row of purl or picots even for a turning row then switching up to the body size and catching up the caston stitches for what I would have been satisfied as a satisfactory hem (if not exactly as yours was). Whoops, guess I did quibble a teensy bit there. However, I still did them your way and lived so it wasn't too bad after all. :)

So now I've got two sleeves, and one piece that is fronts and backs. Cool you say? All done but the making up, right?

Yeah, not so much. Now we get into the part where I am going to quibble. There's this really cool wavy ribbing edging on the pockets that works up to a nice shawl collar. A shawl collar and deep pockets were the two design features I was looking for when I chose this pattern.

My bad for not reading the whole thing all through. To be sure.

But it's my blog and I'm still going to quibble.

So we've got this body piece, and we've picked up the conditional cast on stitches and made our pocket fronts with our mock seams and hem. Now we get to adding the edging...

And herein lies the heart of my bitching.

Why are we knitting it separate? Why after so carefully having me knit two fronts and a back and pocket fronts for both sides all in once piece are we switching horses to make it, sew it mode?

Why aren't we attaching the edging like one would for a shawl by knitting it on? The pattern for the edging isn't that tough and you've been so great about incorporating in the selvedge stitches for sewing...why not just use them for attaching so that once done either side one could just reverse seam the back of the two collar sides and voila instantly done sweater.

This is minor for most, me included to be honest. And in no way am I questioning your ability or design, nor am I finding errata in the numbers. I just don't get the whole sewing it together annoyance.

Granted I'm the first to admit I'd rather 3 needle bind off shoulder seams than sew them (for strength and stability of course but also cause I can't abide sewing :) ) so the whole idea of sewing an entire facing and collar when it would be just as easily done to knit it on is bugging the heck outta me.

Is it fitting the shaping to the curved edges of the pocket? Don't think so, cause you are so line by line careful to address that shaping in the instructions for the edging and collar. Did you just want to pad the pattern to make it fit the space allocated for your pattern in the magazine? Did the editors of said magazine make this change for you? Always a possibility I realize, that what one submits for publication can be quite changed when finally publshed...

I'm still just left wondering why.

I suppose it might be unnecessary to say but I will be knitting the edging and collar on even though I'd promised myself that I would slavishly follow this one...this time.

Appears my best intentions are built upon sand.

Stay tuned... I'll let you know.

Regarding Michael Vick

Dr Phil said today, (paraphrase) that children pick their heroes by who we put in front of them.

His show was about the football player, Michael Vick, who is back in the public eye after serving his sentence and is now... hired? I think, to play professional football again.

I know very little of this situation and don't really care if HE gets his job back or not. He's got to prove to the people who pay his salary that he's able and capable (and in his case publicly acceptable) to do that job. Public outcry will likely make it so he can't do that easily and that's between him and his bosses, sadly. Sadly, because it's about dogs and we have people who do shit to kids and other humans every day who will never be as hated or vilified for their actions and who will affect the lives of others to horrible and terrifying points and no one will ever give a shit, because they aren't animals being mistreated. Go PETA *shitheads*

Ahem,

In general... heroes are not who we put in front of our children. They are the people who exemplify the values, moral conscience and personal choices that we have taught our children are valuable. We don't just control who they look at, but how they look at them. Or, at least, as parents, we should be doing that.

Heroes are not just people who get it right spot on, first shot out of the gate. Heroes are also people who face adversity, who make changes in their lives and how they live them. People who bear their scars and refuse to hide them or in truth, apologize for them. They just get on with becoming better or more than they were.

I have far more respect for someone who has trod on the wrong side, realized it and made it over to the right side than I do for someone who has never screwed up. Being good when that's all you know is easy. Being good when you've experienced the thrill and enticement of being bad... choosing to BE Good when you know what being bad is about, that's hard. That's a hero.

People who go up the stairs when the building is burning, are heroes. Anyone who puts their own personal comfort or safety at risk to help another is a hero. We make much of people who do that and so we should but they aren't the only kind of hero out there.

People who walk past the drugdealer on the corner that they used to stop at every day ...they are heroes. They win in their own life and by example show others that that type of victory is possible.

This isn't a racial issue. yet we're going to have people claim that were he white, we wouldn't be having this argument. On this I call bullshit. It's about the dogs, not the color of his skin. And please, I'm all about animals. I enjoy them and have pets and treat them as part of the family but when all is said and done, they are animals not humans.

It's about his ability to play foot ball. He's a human being. We as society make sports figures, celebrities into 'heroes' but they aren't really. There was a basketball player that suggested to the press some time ago that he was just that, a basketball player and not responsible for how children chose to view him. And you know what? He's not. HE is not responsible for what my child thinks or values. I AM.

I'd like to keep it that way.

Vick's ability to 'fix' himself is sadly, being debated in the public eye. I doubt he'll ever be able to walk out onto a field without someone booing him. But.... why is that person there? To watch football? Or to comment on this guy's personal life? From what I hear this guy was a pretty spectacular football player. Worth a 130 million dollar contract (again from what I hear) ... that's a ridiculous amount of money but you know what, if someone is willing to pay him that much money then why shouldn't he take it?

Do his bad personal choices make him a bad football player? I don't recall ever seeing a dog involved in a real NFL game, do you? We have a hockey player on our NHL team who did something royally rotten.. Yet.. we hired him. Because of the current players out there, he fit the coach's and the team owner's requirements for a player on their team.

Will he ever be accepted by the fans? Who knows? The team owners et al, must think it's possible because when all is said and done they are running a business to make money not give sad saps a second chance.

See, there you go, it's about business and money. It's not about values, but we can hoot and holler and cry out in anguish about the plight and look like heroes ourselves. Go figure.

Vick has his own journey. I don't know anything about him but the little bits here and there. Am I outraged that he fought dogs for money? Sure I am. Would it stop me seeing him play football ... well since I don't much care for NFL (GO CFL) I rather doubt it would matter one way or the other.

Maybe some of these people who are upset by the suggestion that he can return to his job and make money doing what he was doing before ought to examine their own value systems. Aren't they putting something a little bit ahead of their own outrage? Righteous though it may well be.

See, I never understood why they stripped OJ of his football awards. Especially considering that despite his being convicted in the court of public opinion (and rest assured I'm not defending him for one second, just point this out) he wasn't found guilty in a criminal court, and found 'responsible' in a civil action (you know. the one about money... how do you value a human life in terms of dollars anyway?)

His football career and ever other action in the public eye (IE his roles in bad movies etc) have nothing to do with those deaths. Is he a cretinous person, well based on the press I've seen of him, I'd answer yes, like most would. In terms of whether that matters to his ability to play football, I don't think so.

Nor do I think that Michael Vick's stupid and illegal acts preclude him from the ability to play at a level worth 130 million (excepting the idea that since he's been off the field for this amount of time). IF people want to pay him, and other people want to pay to watch him, then chances are he's going to play.

I don't believe there's a law that has any control over someone's working at a job in society once they have met the conditions of their punishment and subsequent parole. The time for this debate would have better been when he was being sentenced. Then the people who think he shouldn't be allowed to play now would have had a valid say (though since football doesn't include dogs... I still doubt that this type of restriction would have been allowed legally).

Not everything is a cause, people.

Arrgh.

This happens too often for my liking.

I must have some innate genius for picking blogs to follow at a certain point in their evolution. I'll find a blog, usually by a quick scanning of someone's blogroll and sample it for a time or two or twenty before adding it to my list of regulars. There's a difference between my regular reads and the blogs listed on my blogroll and I also don't use RSS feed although I have done in the past. I like going to each blog's page and seeing the post 'in the wild' as it were.

Now and again I find a blog that strikes my funny bone or sets me thinking and I'll start poking through their archives. When I find myself starting at the beginning then I know I'm hooked. I can't give a better recommendation to a blog than "Start at the beginning and READ" when I suggest them to friends. Those are the ones that make it to my blogroll. I've read as many posts I could find of those bloggers and while I may not have enjoyed or raved about every single one the highest regard I can give them is to add them to my blogroll.

So typically, some evening when all my mail lists are read and there's nothing I want to put the laptop down and watch on TV, I'll start click-surfing through my old favourites and taking a walk through their blogroll. Most of the time it's the title of the blog that hits me and more than a few times I've forgotten I've gone there before and done a characteristic "Feh" when I find that I don't care for the blog anymore this time, than I did the first time that seductive title has called me on over.

Personal blogs are a little vignette into a person's mind or thoughts for me and feeds into my life long love of (auto)biographies. A lot of people say they'd write a blog, but what would they write about, their boring life? Just that, folks. I'm not the only person who lives (a little or a lot) vicariously through the blogs of others. I really don't even care if they are real happenings in the person's lives or those they wish had happened, or worry that they will, I just want to read the mundanity. If you are blessed with the reasoning power and vocabulary to take a rather awkward or horrid situation, lay it out with all the attending emotions and make me laugh out loud, smile or perhaps even wipe away a tear at the end of it.... then I'm there, daily for my voyeuristic peek into your life.

And many of these blogs go on for years, doing just that. The author gets their feelings/thoughts/opinions out on a semi regular basis and their readers get to try on emotions, situations and results vicariously... a symbiotic relationship if ever I tried to describe one.

Sometimes the opinions get heated responses and the comment section gets all interesting (though often it fades to a general noise with each new one taking a shot at a previous one rather than continuing what could well have been an insightful discussion and a general agreement to disagree while still being able to express one's views) (yeah I wish too much for lots of things, I know... annie optimist)

Opinions are great, being involved in something is wonderful and being enthusiastic and encouraging others to join up on your bandwagon is perfectly acceptable. Especially on your own bandwidth.

That's not what I'm grousing about here.

Just wanted to get that out there. Lots of the blogs I read have a donate here button for either the author's tip jar, or to donate through to whatever worthwhile cause they've chosen and I respect that in a huge way. It's their little corner of the internet and they can promote whatever they like. I've got the option of going there and either donating, not donating, ignoring their causes etc. I'm not there for that anyways... I'm there to read those scintillating vignettes that hooked me in the first place.

I'm the first person to admit that I'm shitty at keeping up my blog. I should write a lot more and stop badgering my friends trying to drag them into discussions where I can indulge in my favourite position of 'devil's advocate'. I also realize that life changes and things that were taking up huge portions of someone's reasoning power, to the point where they felt they must write it out or they'd explode become less imperative as those things change; that's not the problem I'm talking about.

It's the feeling that someone has hoodwinked me that I'm objecting too. Although, rationally (see title) I'm sure that people aren't actively doing this in a conscious or calculating manner; I have to wonder a little at times.

Do they really write all those great posts to get me so hooked on reading them that they can slip in their cause du jour without me noticing?

I'm reading along, happily chuckling to myself or wiping away that tear I mentioned and blam!

The topic has suddenly changed. I don't mean veered off into an opinionated rant I mean we are now soapboxing for a particular cause. Now and again that cause is the author themselves.

Now see earlier, where I mentioned that causes were great and the business of the person whose blog it was? And how I could ignore said cause or back it, or even take up an opposing viewpoint as my own cause? I'm still good with that. Just want to be clear on that.

When a blog has been chugging along sharing stories about daily commuting and the topic shifts to traffic laws, that's pretty natural and expected. Particularly if the blogger was involved in an accident or witnessed one or one that will result in a change of law has happened and opinions get shared about the ramifications of said new law. When someone leading the single life become a partner in a relationship, the topics are going to shift. Cool, got that. It's tough to write about the night on the town with the girls when really you made a casserole, curled up bare-naked on the couch with the new squeeze and coo'd like a pair of pigeons all night.

The writing style shouldn't change though.

It shouldn't become forced as though someone is feeling obligated to do a public service announcement. That is what makes me stop reading a blog.

That "Miss America Syndrome" where everyone thinks they can only be considered worthwhile, contributing members of society if they want 'world peace' or 'to end world hunger' or 'save the world by inflicting your views, ways and mores on a country no where near you'. I've got my fifteen minutes of fame and I don't want to waste it on me. Uh.. that's why I was coming to your blog in the first place. Because YOU are interesting. Not your ability to raise x dollars a week to feed the homeless. YOU.

For all the self centered people I encounter on a regular basis, many of whom have no idea of what goes on beyond their own little 'whirl around in a circle with your arms outstretched' worlds I can't figure how I always find bloggers who instead of keeping on doing what made them successful readable bloggers in the first place have to shift over to 'cause seekers'.

*sigh*.

Another one bit the dust today.

I don't walk away after someone expresses an opinion I don't like. Nor even after someone peppers their blog with linkies here and linkies there to this or that agency to support their opinion or cause.

I do though after repeated postings that make it clear that they aren't going back to writing what I want to read about.

So.... read any good blogs lately?

Commenting elsewhere got away on me...

This post and in particular some of the comments got me going...

I found once I got into the discussion I couldn't stop and started posting such as the following in response to various comments.

Uh... we do see those jokes about men all around us. And if you are going to 'cry' about how you are inundated by the reverse then maybe you ought to accept that despite their not saying as MUCH as women do (and please keep in mind that women stayed silent about their role in the world for a very long time before the dam broke and they started to speak up and out against the injustice) they are just as harmed by such stereotyping as women are. In fact, they are under the onus of "men don't bitch, men don't cry and men don't care about feelings etc" so anything they might say or do is immediately written off as just a 'man thing'. Hmmm... just as derisive a statement as the 'little woman' in my view of the world.

There are a myriad of commercials, ad campaigns, television programs, books and radio programs where there is an all knowing woman nodding her head in silent amusement and superiority at the inability of the 'man' not being able to complete the easiest of tasks. Laugh at them when they try to change the baby and don't get the diaper on straight. Send Dr. Phil out to get the groceries and have Robin (HIS WIFE AND LIFE PARTNER) mock him for getting the apples not in a bag (as he rightly pointed out, they were in a bag, just not the nice little extra produce bag). Big Bang Theory, a (IMO) very funny sitcom has the obligatory 'superior' woman, who doesn't have the book smarts of the boys next door but certainly provides the clever 'street smart superiority' of "I am woman, hear me roar." Not to mention keeping the equality of representation issue at bay... we have a strong female role on the show, look at us... we do see? There she is right there, adding to the hyperbole of the guys being so smart they are dumb. Even Lucy at her ditziest got her way in the end and Desi was her long suffering protector but since she won was she the dumb one after all?

Power is a balance. You can't give power to someone without taking it away from someone else. Since women have (historically) been downtrodden, put upon, treated as less than chattel and seen as not even smart enough to vote; it's now okay to take that sense of empowerment and use it to do the same to men? Sorry I don't think so, at least not in my world. So when does the pendulum stop? When does the swing go back the other way and MEN take the world back, get their empowerment back? Get their self esteem and their innate abilities to be just as good as woman? Puleasse... Stop using your 'so called' superiority and 'equality' (women and men aren't equal and I for one, appreciate that fact)

I LIKE being a woman. That doesn't mean I have to be better than a man. Sometimes, in somethings, I don't even have to be even as good as a man, so long as I still like being a woman.

(taking this rant to my own blog, sorry for grabbing on it AAG but thank you for giving me a reason to actually get uptight enough to write again :)

Bree

To continue... Some of the posters pointed out that in their opinion (cause that's all we really got here, folks, is opinions after all) jokes such as this were just one more 'nail in the coffin' and every time someone laughed at one such or didn't speak out against they were giving their approval, silent or otherwise.

I disagree.

I think every time we overreact to something like this we put a nail in a whole other 'coffin'. I think it serves only to reinforce the stereotype. Actually, a case can be made for Paul being the butt of this whole thing much more than Heather. She got her 'dues' and if it happens to be put forth in the guise of sex as a service so freaking what? She did alright out of the whole thing, didn't she? She got the nice place to live, she got the money to spend on her personal hobby horses. If she did or didn't love him isn't really the issue, is it? So long as she was 'compensated' for her time, then all is right and well with the world. Frankly I think it was probably worth it to Paul (and no he's not my favorite beatle either but I can't say that I'd want him shot for it *eyerolls*) to pay that to rid of her from his life.

Divorce settlements are as ridiculous as every other thing done to 'result in a fair and equitable treatment of women'. You want equal babe? Try paying the settlement instead of receiving it. Try convincing a judge (predisposed to being a 'fair and reasonable person seen to represent the public opinion at hand and uphold the current laws of the land') that you did your level best to support your partner in what has now become a failed marriage. That while you may have brought home the larger share of the finances due to an agreement between yourself and your partner that now that the marriage CONTRACT is over, you shouldn't have to continue doing so, most likely at the expense of having a reasonable ability to live your own self. Try that on for size. Try paying to see your kids (been there done that and still pissed at it, since the ex did his very best to alienate me and present me as a 'bad mom' and had his whole act bought by a female judge...yay Sisterhood, way to stick it to your own), try having every time you fight against the 'pay for this or else I'll take you to court' be a losing battle. Then you can suck it up and claim equality.

Getting divorced isn't about sticking it to the other person, but what do women do? They cry, they ply their feminine wiles and claim weakness and inability to support themselves. Shouldn't they want to stand on their own feet? Not accept a free ride till they get married again and start living off someone else's labours? (before you get all twisted, OBVIOUSLY I'm taking about divorces such as Paul and Heather and not one where the woman is left raising x kids on her own with any source of income whatsoever, that's different and if you don't know it, you ought to)

Every time WE as women, demand our fair treatment, our fair share, our DUE we set ourselves back. Being equal means accepting the ups with the downs, not getting the downs smoothed over because we are women and history has treated us badly. So what? suck it up. Get a grip. Stop wanting it both ways. Stop being like Oprah who when told by an audience member that he didn't see a black woman before him but a successful business person whose opinion he respected, remarked to the effect of but you have to see that I'm black and a woman or else you aren't acknowledging me. It doesn't work that way... not if you want fair and equal treatment for all. Making an employer accept a female employee because 'it's fair' doesn't make it fair. Not unless she was the only applicant for the job that met all the criteria to the highest level of requirement. THEN it's fair and only then. Taking our shot along with everyone else, and with no regard what so ever given to our gender (or for that matter race or any other 'special' aspect of ourselves we go around demanding be acknowledged) and having the person best suited to the position chosen. That will be fair. That will also, the way the world is going, likely be a very long cold day in hell; but I hope I'm wrong and people will stop asking for special treatment as their fair treatment and get on with things.

Revisited

Or, I suppose, proof that nothing ever really goes away on the 'net. The other night I had to wait up till a rather late hour to be an alarm clock for hubby.

I'd exhausted all my regular reads and played enough mindless games to satisfy that urge for quite some time. I was puttering around the house trying to stay awake so I started poking around my hard drive(s) trying to see if I could find 'any' of my past posts on other blogs I've had. Some of them were quite innocuous but there are a few I truly wish I had copies of.

Then I recalled The Way Back Machine. This awesome and somewhat frightening :) archive has been around for a long time.

You type in the url of the site you can no longer find and voila.. there is it, archived for ever more. Or at least the foreseeable future.

I didn't find all the posts I wanted to. This 'machine' takes snapshots of the pages but I did find some. I was much more interested in putting my opinions and ideas out there 'way back when' so over the next little while I'm going to post the old posts here to see if that gets my gotta say it motor running again.

It was a touch startling to find that I'm still annoyed by things I was in 2004 ;) but ... hope you enjoy regardless.


I hate colds...
Sunday 05.23.04 [10:18 pm]

There now I feel better. Well, really I don't but I'm not gonna whine about my summer cold.

I figured I'd moan about Dr. Laura. Gaaah, I hate it when that woman is right . Now to be honest, she's often *right*... it's her way of delivering the message I have issues with. (for the people that expect some sense to my posts (gives you a look), she was right about the message to not hide from our children what is going on in the world...it's better that they know the truth... and you can agree or disagree as you see fit, I know what I think.)

Now, on to my moaning about her... does she have to be such a *EH*... what's an appropriate word?

Oh, wait, I know... bitch about the advice she's giving?

Sure, she's heard the same question asked ad nauseum... but let's consider for a moment. This is a (to hear it told, I haven't checked out her credentials nor do I have any wish to) respected Dr. She's got enough of a following from her books and other things to have a radio show, that a whole heck of a lot of people listen to and try to live their lives by, via the advice she sends out each time she's in front of the mike. So okay, it's a custom or ritual or what have you to thank her for taking your call...

(to be brutally truthful, she didn't, the lady who mans the phones (and no PC crap ok, you all know what I mean by that) took your call, and thought a few things, i.e. your voice is ok for radio, you have a topical or interesting question that will likely segue nicely into a canned message by the DR. and so into the que you go.)

So anyway... The Dr. answers and you thank her for taking your call usually adding in how you've listened for a while, respect her opinion and generally kiss her ass, wasting, I might add, valuable

air time, but ok, you wanna, so you do... she acknowledges it, sometimes with an edge already to her voice, 'cause she already knows what your question is or what it is in regards to at the very least. Sure she's got the foreknowledge of whatever notes/signals, how ever she's getting the message about your call...but you don't know that, so off you start, giving all the details that you feel are pertinent. After all, this is your big chance to ask THE DOCTOR, the person you listen to, daily maybe, whose opinion you respect, even revere, how to fix YOUR life. And she cuts you off. She basically tells you off for not hearing the answer in the last 10 or 20 or *how many calls have I had on this subject, she asks her staff*. No matter to her, that your life is yours, and thereby different to anyone else's so of course you believe your circumstances are pertinent to the situation. No matter that you might well be on the brink of a breakthrough, if only you can talk to the DR. and hear her address YOUR problems. Nope, you get cut off, told off for being too wishywashy or selfish, or oh my gosh, too ambitious in your life to even be ALLOWED to have children. She tears you apart, telling the entire world what's wrong with you, in 10 words or less (or so some of her some time listeners might wish) and then expects you to go out and *do the right thing*.

Sure, I mean why not... go ahead and talk to your children like someone you respected enough to phone, sit on hold for how ever long to wait to talk to, someone who just took about 35 seconds to tear you apart. That'll help you be an effective parent and fix your life, as well as your troubled teen's life too. Oh and while you're at it, be damned sure to be a doormat to your children and teach them that they are the ONLY force in this world important... forget that you are too... forget that as a real live human being you are entitled to feelings and respect and oh.. my ... gosh... love.

I wonder if it ever even occurs to her that she's a rolemodel to these people. A role model often sending a not so great message... one where it's okay to be impatient and condescending to folks because YOU ARE RIGHT. These people actually hang on her every word and might think that's the way to deal with others. And who knows, it might even be the way to deal with the S*O*B who's messing up their lives. But, she can tell from a 20 second conversation? I uh, don't think so... I don't like radio pscychology at the best of times, there's far too many ways to mess with someone's head given that medium... my point is, these people think it's then ok to go out and speak to others the way they've just been spoken to. Oh, I'm sure that some people give the phone a look and go *what the hell was that?* and reevaluate why they'd ask such a condescendingly rude person their opinion anyways...and those are likely the calls that get *cut short*. Listen to her show, you'll know what I mean. ;). Some calls just end. Rather abruptly.

Like this rant *GRIN*.

G'head, make it again, we'll wait.

On saturday past, the kids, hubby and I trundled off to the city. Anticipation was at hand; we were about to see the new Harry Potter film, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. Hubby had no idea what to expect as he hasn't read the book; DD#3 and I have both read them all, over and over. DD#4 is currently reading Philosopher's Stone but has listened to the first 6 books on tape. The unabridged versions, so knows the story pretty nearly as well as DD#3 and I do. This is usually the case. Hubby prefers to see the movie first, then listen to the books on tape. Us, not so much.

Movie nights are big in our family. Over the past 20 years hubby and I have seen a lot of them. We always sit through the credits because we're both big on it's not just the actors or directors that make the film. It's the writers, the AD, the cinematographer, the craft services, the continuity department, the cgi department and even the guy who drives the honey wagon that make the film worthwhile. It's a labour you gotta love, cause it's long tedious work, no matter how excited you get about doing it; so to honor those folks we sit through the credits. It's our little thing.

The HP movies (among other 'series' we enjoy) are an occasion for us, we do it up :) you see. Go out for dinner at a favourite restaurant, anticipate...oh there's that word again... get excited. We look forward to these times. We see a lot of movies as a family, but most often it's on dvd or ppv. Going to the theatre for one is saved for the big family faves, like Harry Potter and well Ice Age for another.

Anyway, we're anticipating, you all got that right? We're excited. We know the story. We're not really expecting any plot twists but we like to see how what we imagine when we read (or listen) to the stories comes out on film. So we nod to each other (that's dd#3 and I) when the movie begins. The nods quickly change to confused expressions. Hers starts to frown, mine to shrug, not much I can do to change the movie. See, that's already been done.

So Mr Yates and Ms Rowling, I would just like to know.. WTF?

When did Dumbledore become the slightest bit concerned about Harry's love life? When did Harry's life revolve around anything muggle? And when the hell did he go from slightly uncomfortable around girls to mr schmooze?

Oh and the whole 'ink in the water effect' ... little over used don't you think? I mean for starters, that whole three columns of black illwill disguised as ... hmm... ink in water but morphing a little? That was cheesy when the bad guys did that zoom around threesome deal in one of the Superman movies back when.

On what page in the book does The Burrow burn down? Cause I've read my copy cover to cover at least 5 times and I can' find that scene anywhere. And for that matter, how did the time leap happen so that Tonks and Remus are dating already? I'm surprised you didn't have her already preggers.

Why does Luna find Harry in the train, not Tonks, oh wait I know, cause she's off snogging Remus? *bleah*

Course, you can make it alright by turning the camera angles all wonky. First time I've felt vertigo watching a movie, btw. Yates? You wanna make *art films* please go do so without messing with an already awesome story and established and easily recognized backstory. Turning it on it's side and whipping the camera around won't make it anymore interesting to me.

Ms. Rowling??? Please... please tell me what you were thinking? IS THIS why there's to be two Deathly Hallows movies? To put right the utter ridiculousness of the mangled plot in this one? Did you have to negotiate and insist on certain things to get that done? I want to believe that's the reason.... I really do.

Oh there were bright spots, Lavender was a hoot, even though the actress might have been discouraged from that whole predatory crouch deal she had going on. The twins in their suits, the joke shop and I can even understand leaving out the poster though it would have been funny :). Seemed like the movie would get going off on a tangent, then suddenly it was *really important* to hit a plot point so it would veer back to the book almost word for word, then off it would go on some cockeyed vertiginous journey again. Why mess with it? Why make it damn near unrecognizable?

I'm not a director, I've not gone to school to learn this and my movie experience is about thatmuch. But speaking as a consumer of movies for a lot more years than I care to admit to here, what the freaking hell?

I understand about leaving things out that flesh out the book for lack of time or real importance to the movement of the film or plot. You can't dress every desk the way it's written in the book. Nor can you hit every little byplay between the characters, that's why we read the books, I get that, we enjoy that part but it's tedious to put on film and one scene well done is enough to establish the dislike between the characters, or the friendship or attraction. So yes, you have to edit... I get that...But making stuff up? Don't get that at all.

You wanted to show the horror of Voldemort and how he was impacting the muggle world too, how about a newspaper shot.... one page muggle news, the page turns, the other side is the wizard world report. And lose the idiotic black smoke of death crap. You want sinister? How about a cloaked man sweeping up a family and then showing the abandoned half eaten meal still warm on the table? Too mundane? Too done? It's a movie based on a successful series FOR CHILDREN. Trust me they haven't seen it before and even if they did, as a director you should be able to tell a story without the fuss and bull of inky deathsmoke.

Yes, that stuff really bugged me.

This was the conversation as for the first time in 20 years I watched my hubby walk out on the credits of a film. I think had it just been he and I, we'd have left before the movie ended to be honest....another first.

DD#3, "We don't have to buy it, do we?"
Hubby grunts.
DD#3 "But then we won't have the set, okay we can buy but we never have to watch it again, right?"
DD#2 "Right!"

These kids will watch the first 5 movies over a weekend and the very next weekend will ask to do it again.

So... please, MAKE IT AGAIN... please? We'll wait, we promise....

I'll take that answer :)

Your result for The Classic Dames Test...

Katharine Hepburn

You scored 10% grit, 38% wit, 48% flair, and 14% class!

You are the fabulously quirky and independent woman of character. You go your own way, follow your own drummer, take your own lead. You stand head and shoulders next to your partner, but you are perfectly willing and able to stand alone. Others might be more classically beautiful or conventionally woman-like, but you possess a more fundamental common sense and off-kilter charm, making interesting men fall at your feet. You can pick them up or leave them there as you see fit. You share the screen with the likes of Spencer Tracy and Cary Grant, thinking men who like strong women.

Find out what kind of classic leading man you'd make by taking the
Classic Leading Man Test.

Take The Classic Dames Test at HelloQuizzy

Blank canvas

Evening after evening my mind wanders a little as I drive home from picking up the girls. For the record, I'm not a careless driver and have avoided a number of near misses with others more so over the years. But with those years comes some autopilot ability and hence I tend to do a lot of plot planning and character designing while driving. Because in the immortal words of the procrastinator; "One day when I have time I will write a novel."

I've mentioned before how if I could hook up to my brain with a word processor that this blog would be full of wonderment and insightful musings that would lead you all down such paths of self discovery it would be amazing.

Sadly (you in the back, I hear you laughing) that wondrous connection between consciousness and the written word is yet in our future. So you're stuck with what lingers after I get home, argue with the kids about whether or not it's the week they switch chores and how if they weren't done the week before it wouldn't really be fair to switch them, so quit trying to get out of it by not doingittillit'snotyourturn... ahem.

So this is what you're left with.

A blank screen, well, technically a blank composition area on blogger backend. Still and all, there's something compelling about a blank page, a canvas for one's words if you will. Shall I paint a picture of my day? How about one of a cherished memory? Oh, I know, I'll trace for you an emotion. Sketch the lines of it perfectly with words. Shade it with synonyms and just the right touch of hyperbole. Add in a touch of humor to lighten and a smidge of sarcasm for realism. Yes, that's it, that's perfect. I'll just dab this little bit of sadness in the corner and voila, a masterpiece for the ages.

So, okay, a master painter with words I am not. At least, not yet. Will I ever stir someone's heart to an emotion long forgotten? It's possible, it just might be. But I won't get there without practice and tossing aside my fears and getting around to that some day when.

'Cause honey? I got time. No time like the present. I got ideas, out the whaaazoo. That's part of the problem, how do I wed myself to one set of the characters in my head. Their stories are always evolving and sometimes when I set them aside for a time and then come back to them I find they kept on doing so and I no longer recognize them.

Is that the chance all writers take? That the story they set out to tell is not the one told at the end of it all? Is that okay? For me? For them? Does it matter? Isn't it just about getting the words down, the story out, finding out the ending, how the heroine (or hero for the sake of being totally PC) survived or didn't; what sacrifices (s)he might have had to make to get there...

Maybe I'd be better as an essayist, after all. The stories amuse me, but would they amuse others? The odd few I've let read my story words tell me they want more of them. I've been swatted with pages of my manuscript and admonished with remarks to the effect of get writing already and it gladdens my heart.

But what if, when all is said and done, no one wants to read my words after all? What then?

So much better to sit here with the lovely anticipation of a blank canvas and the imaginations of every wonderful story I know I could write if I'd just put pen to page, pencil to paper, cursor to screen.

And there you have it, the procrastination of a wanna be writer. Terror and anticipation, fear and ego, excitement and procrastination at its very finest.

Interesting :)

A friend sent me the following email:

Subject: Answer me first, then forward


If you saw ME in the back of a police car, what would you think I'd been arrested for?

Reply to me alone, then forward to your friends


Well the idea tickled me, so I sent this off to online friends and family and friends who have access.

Here are the responses I received:

"Hmmmm.....I have no idea. Assault with a dangerous knitting needle?" - this from a recent gamer friend.

"Mouthing off the policeman." - from a younger buddy who knows me through a club of sorts who has become a family friend

"That your car had broken down and the police just were giving you a ride to the nearest station." - aww :) this is from my best friend.

"Slapping the shit out of somebody for terminal stupidity." - another online friend to whom I've ranted about said terminal stupidity :).

"Er... no idea." - well that's reassuring ;).

"For streaking. LOL." - a coworker. (A smart ass one at that :P)

"Defending your kids." - another coworker. She's on the money there, and I'd say the same thing about her.


These are the only ones I've received so far. I'll add more if they come in.

Makes a mother proud... Take 2

A little bit better than a couple of weeks ago, my 12 yo came home from school really excited about a fundraiser at her school. I wrote about it last entry.

Some details I got wrong. There are 281 students in the school, not the 360 or so I thought. This all started with one girl asking the school if she could raise $250 if she could have her head shaved in assembly to heighten awareness.

The idea caught on and the 'offer' was made to the students. 25 kids signed up. Some teachers offered to participate if certain milestones were reached.

The Canadian school record was $16,500. Smoked by that in the first 4 days. Some kids reached their goal of $250 very early on and asked if they could allocate some of their funds towards other kids getting their heads shaved and so the number of participants grew. On Wednesdays the hat was passed at school and kids anted up $600 in loose change. Two and one half more heads could be shaved by the way they were keeping score.

New milestones were set in place by the faculty and an awareness of something big began to permeate the school. The principal said he'd do it if $27,500 was raised. Two people had acquired a part time job counting funds, recording amounts and lists for donation receipts. The excitement among those with children at the school grew even more.

On Monday the 30th, the grade 7 band were off on a field trip and upon arriving back at the school, they went to check the totals and found the 'thermometer' gone. the speculation that they had passed $30,000 was rife. By now over 40 students were slated to be buzzed.

Today at the assembly the results were announced:
281 students donated. That is, every single student in the school made a donation.
There were over 1000 other individual and corporate donations. That's in addition to the 281 individual donations by the students.
10 staff, 42 students and 5 family/friends were set to shave their heads. That's 57 in total.
13 hairstylists/barbers signed up to donate their time to shave heads. Pony tails were collected to send off for wigs.
Prizes for the students were donated by the Calgary Stampeders, The Calgary Hitmen, The Calgary Flames, Shakers Leisure Center, The Town of High River.

And... oh yeah the total.

$51,578. 81

That's over 3 times the Canadian record for a school donation for leukemia AND.... is also the largest ever donation for leukemia research in North America by a school EVER.

DD#3? More concerned with the kotc of a friend in a pic than the fact that she has a shaved head and participated in something so monumental it could change the world for many people.

There were some incredible heroes there today. Every single one of those kids accomplished something fantastic and amazing, but a select few of them stood out for me as I've known them outside of the school and away from being DD#3's classmates and friends. They are all members of the Foothills Youth Foundation and I've watched them stand around in the hot sun and cold rain to make sure every single child who wanted their face painted, got done. I've seen them show up early, and leave late to make sure that events have run smoothly. I've been witness to the way they present themselves, proud, strong and creative. Unwilling to take no for an answer no matter how many times they've heard it. I've watched them grieve the passing of a beloved founder of the foundation and I've watched them walk for hours at RelayforLife in her honour. I've watched them participate in the 30 hour famine cheerfully and happily. They're onto something at an age where it can only become a habit and what better habit could a child acquire than putting forth effort on the behalf of others?

I"m not just proud of my daughter. I'm proud of every single one of these kids that I know, and even those I don't.

They reminded me today, and I believe they also reminded a lot of other people, that from a little acorn a mighty oak tree may grow. They know what they did. They are proud of it, but they are also not ready to relax on their laurels here.

I can't wait to see what these guys do next.

I'm sure I'll be proud.

Makes a mother proud..

In general, I'm very proud of my kids. All five of them are unique, capable in their abilities and generally pretty smart kids/adults.

Sometimes they go a bit beyond that, each in their own way.

That's where DD#3 is at just at this moment. Well often :) but as I said, particularly so.

Last summer she got her ponytail cut off and donated it to a place where they make wigs for cancer patients and others who have lost their hair due to illness, or treatment. Pretty proud moment.

She's walked with a team in the Relay for Life fundraiser in the past, and wants to again this year.

Now...she's one of 37 students in her combination junior/senior high school, who are raising a minimum of $250 each for the privilege of having their heads shaved in front of the whole school on April 1, 2009. There are ~360 students in this school. 25% of the teachers (all male) are also having their heads shaved if the kids reach certain goals. Many of them are already accomplished.

This is not a call for donations, however if anyone does want to, please feel free to make a donation to your local charity/fundraiser of choice.

I'm just damned proud of her and wanted to tell as many folks as I can.