The names of our lives...

Special K has an interesting post about titles. It go me thinking about how what we are taught (indoctrinated) as children affects our ability to address others by or without titles.

In my family 'auntie' is a very important title. Through a set of circumstances that precluded them spending much time with each other during their growing up time, my older set of kids did not automatically give this title to my female siblings. The title was, however, accorded to my best friend and through her Uncle was given to her husband. To this day, she and her husband, although no longer as integral to our lives are still referred to in nostalgia binges as Auntie and Uncle.

I make a point of asking people how they would like my kids to address them. The response has often been just call me *firstname* but now and again a thankful Oh, Mrs so&So will be okay if they're comfortable with that. And despite their teenage years' mantra of 'let's see just how hard we can make that vein in mom's forehead pop out' they usually were respectful.

I always balked however, when someone suggested "Oh, they can just call me auntie " No, that's not an option sorry. Auntie is an accorded honour in our family, awarded to a certain level of relationship. I didn't really realize just how strongly I felt about this until a ...lady? ... who was not to my liking stepped into a friend's relationship and became their *roommate* for a time. She was to watch my kids one day and they were unsure of how to address her. On the phone she mentioned "They can call me Auntie so and so" I nearly bit her head off with an abruptly snapped "No! I seriously don't think so." Thankfully she was the epitomy of blonde bimboness and was totally oblivous to my response. :) she weren't a blondie just for looks y'know. :)

It's in the conference of authority for me. In the comments of SK's post someone mentioned Southern manners. I will always refer to a woman older than I or that I am serving or providing a serving to as Ma'am (or a man older than me as Sir or Mr.) and be quite confused when they get pissy about it. Ladies, it's good enough for the Queen of freaking England quit getting yer knickers in a knot.

When I was a kid, it was the height of my contempt to not address my mom's brother as Uncle so&so. He was and is beneath my contempt and totally undeserving to my 8 yo mind of such a lofty title. This ideal of mine carried on through school when I dared to address a teacher by her first name. *daring do for a kid of my generation*

Now I tend to be a bit offhand with folks, shortening names and using the ubiquitous 'hon' (comes of hanging out with all those 'murricans' as SK would denote them. :P

Where do titles fit in your life?