Tuesday, June 06, 2006

holding pattern

This movie has in it one of my all time favorite movie quotes. (not to mention one of my favourite all time movie actors but that's another blog post). However, it's one of my favourites, not the people who collect quotes and post them, so I'll have to paraphrase. Mel's character's girlfriend has been knocked down and is in a coma. He's drunk, despairing of her awakening and considering cryogenics (hey I didn't write it ;0) At any rate, he says to his friend about her, (warning bad paraphrase coming) "nothing was ever real till she knew..." I love that quote. That's how it used to be for me with my other half. Nothing was real to me till I got to tell him about it.

Today I got a parttime job at a new bank. Today I had no one to tell. No one to make it real for me.

I told him later, when he got home but it wasn't the same as it should have been. I told a couple of friends and they were of course, pleased for me, still not the same.

I don't really know when it changed or why it had to or whether it can change back or not.

I know I'm not blameless. I know that he isn't either. People fuck up. Make stupid decisions and forget to do things for one another when it's really important that they do. No one in this world is perfect. Well except for this one person I have this sneaking suspicion about but no one else is.

I guess I'll need a new favourite quote. This one doesn't feel the same anymore.