Turning the Other Cheek

You know how people turn the other cheek, swallow the insult that cuts to the very quick of their heart because well... nice people do just that. Parents do that. Friends do that. Sisters do that. Coworkers do that. I'm DONE doing that.

I no longer am a nice person. I no longer will let others' wishes, desires, needs, wants, gratification whathaveyou, come before my own. If I'm not important enough for the common courtesies of wishing happy birthday to, being concerned when I'm ill, accepting that my feelings are also hurt to someone then they can go find someone who is. If they were important to me and that's how they think then I was obviously mistaken about their importance to me.

And I'm going to recognise that fact a hell of a lot sooner now because I'm going to be examining EVERYTHING with a fine toothed comb from now on. Everyone will be suspect until they PROVE their worth to me. I'm not going to sit there and expect humanity from people. I'm not going to assume that because I simply would NOT treat someone else that way, that they won't treat me that way. Quite the opposite, in fact. I'm going to assume that they are going to do as dirty to me as they can and defend against it. I'm going to be a lonely miserable suspicious person but damn it I no long will sit there stunned into sobbing tears at the level of inconsideration with which I was treated. I'll be well prepared for it. And I'll do everything in my power to do it first because I'm DONE.

I'm not apologizing for my desires anymore. And you know what else? I'm done explaining just how very simple they are. Because they are; they are the lowest level of respect and consideration for another human being that can be expected. Obviously that's my problem right? Anything that comes that cheap in effort isn't worth it.

So what I need to become is a high maintenance bitch. A person whose ass simply begs to be kissed. I will expect diamonds, even though I hate those hard brittle gems. I won't look for the fire and life of an opal anymore. I want diamonds and gold because when I'm done with whoever gave them to me, I can sell them for money. From now on it's about ME.

I've been accused of being selfish before, man they got nothing. They want selfish? They'll see SELFISH.